Lifeskills Lexicon*

A guide to understanding communication

*Over the years of workshopping and presenting material, I noticed that many important and powerful words show up consistently with participants having their own meanings and values attached.

For me, the facilitator, the meaning of these words have evolved and clarified to their simple core value. I present this lexicon in an effort to speed our communication, deepen impact of your experience and generally get us moving together in the same direction right away. Please review the material, notice what definitions you respond to, how you feel about what you read and if you agree or not.

-- Terry Harris

Lifeskills Lexicon

The glue that holds abuse of self/others in place. Based on fantasies of control of self/others.

Adolescence A time when image, control, guarantees, black/white and being right are critical.

Anger Energy

Attitude A set of responses, usually based on current self-image and feelings of power, changing with the environment Ego finds itself in.

Children The real owners of the planet Earth.

Control A feeling, inspired by a fear, usually confused with domination that leads to addictive/abusive behaviour.

Depression Unexpressed anger gone sour.

Earth Our true mother, God's wife.

Ego A survival mechanism. Thrives in the future and the past. A voice for addiction.

Fear A normal and natural response to threat or uncertainty leading to fight/flight, freeze/faint.

Forgiveness A gift to myself, an emotional release allowing me to move on.

God Life.

Guilt A form of self-punishment based on a self-image. Keeps us stuck in negative behaviour. There is healthy guilt and there is toxic guilt.

Joy A side effect of Love and fulfillment of purpose.

Love The glue holds the universe together; a source of courage. Why we came here to do what we do.

Parents Trainers.

Power My ability to change the current situation.

Priorities Where I put my power.

Purpose A place for love to express itself. Priorities align here.

Resentment A form of punishment based on a fantasy image of another. Keeps us stuck in addictive behaviour.

Respect An awareness that we are all equal and connected.

Responsibility A feeling, leading to action, based on my willingness to achieve a certain outcome. Sometimes confused with guilt.

Right A feeling connected to control, usually at great expense to relationship. Sometimes confused with correct.

Security A feeling.

Self-image Who I think I am, resulting in a set of rules governing conduct, peer group, aspirations and achievement.

Stuck A feeling. Usually a result of being unwilling to move forward or back. Fear rules here.

Truth Power. A soul mate to love.

Victim A feeling resulting from being disempowered by someone or something. Easy to get stuck here waiting for the perpetrator to fix things.

Wrong A feeling connected to helplessness, usually at great expense to relationship. Oftentimes confused with incorrect.

Youth Our only hope.